Finding Out Bad News....

Monday March 9th came. I was a ball of nerves! It was my 8th week, and we were finally going to the Dr. Finally going to see our baby, and I was so so so NERVOUS. SICK nervous. But, I was trying to convince myself that I was just psyching myself out for no reason.

So, we go in. sign in. wait. We had a bunch of appointments that day. I was just ready to get this over with. Good news, and out of there. Or so I hoped.

We go in. The sonographer placed the probe on me, and we saw a baby on the monitor with a strong heartbeat of 179 bpm. Sweet little picture. Except that the baby was in the smallest gestational sac I had ever seen. Way smaller than Daniel's, way smaller than any ultrasound picture I'd ever looked at. At this point I am thinking that it's a bad machine. My baby was measuring perfectly, and the heart was beating.

So, before she was all finished, I asked her: "Does everything look healthy?" She replied: "I am concerned that the amniotic fluid around your baby is quite low, but I will let the Dr. talk to you."
So, feeling a little insecure, I dress, and we go to wait for the Dr.

So, we wait for the Dr. and he comes in. He was very honest with us... the baby has a 50% chance of survival. Half of the time this thing corrects itself, and half of the time, it doesn't. So, we leave. My world has just altered a little bit.

From March 9th until the 16th, I was in a waiting period that was hard. I found out a lot about this particular issue, and knew that our chances were iffy. This was definitely a danger and we were in no way in the clear. I started to prepare and process. 

The morning of the 16th, I read this, prayed, and prepared to go to my appointment.

Finding Out Good News...

On Wednesday, February 11, 2015 Daniel and I went to Target, Old Navy, and several other stores and I bought clothes because I needed them. I was waiting to lose weight, or get pregnant, and neither were happening and I had nothing to wear. So I spent a good amount of money on clothes. Even though I knew I was two days late, I never thought I would be pregnant because my tests for my entire life, except for once, were always negative, so I was basically just waiting for my period to come. I went to the Dollar Tree and picked up two $1 pregnancy tests, for the heck of it, and then I swung by Starbucks, and grabbed a Mocha Frapp and headed home. 

I put Daniel to bed for his nap, went to the bathroom, peed on my cheap test, covered the window up with something (which I NEVER do..) and walked downstairs for a drink. I headed back upstairs to set myself up for disappointment, because let's face it, I am always disappointed. Turned on my cell phone to take a video of the result for Dennis (I never do that.) Took a deep breath, and uncovered the test window... 

TWO LINES. 

TWO LINES!!!!! 

(I forgot about the video.)

There were TWO lines! the impossible happened. I was finally pregnant after 4 years of waiting. 4. I panicked. I had to call Dennis. I called. no answer. First time ever that UPS didn't answer the phone. I hung up. Called back. 

"May I speak with Dennis please.." I hurried. "Yes, one moment please...." 

"This is Dennis.." 

and then I probably exploded with excitement and told my husband I was finally pregnant! He was so excited. I was excited. It was an awesome day. Just elated. We thought we could wait to tell our small group until the next Friday when we were scheduled to go out on a group date. So I called my mom, my dad, a couple friends. 

We got ready for church. I walked in the door, and just couldn't contain it. My friends hugged me, a couple cried. We bounced up and down like giddy school girls. It was a fantastic day. 

I was probably four weeks and 1 day that day. I found out super soon!!!! 

It didn't take long before the exhaustion set in, the bloating was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Several friends thought I must be having twins because it took no time before I felt like I was already too big for my clothes. Yes, I could be "that pregnant girl" but I knew I wasn't imagining it, because even Dennis was like "How can this be happening to soon?" 

So, I scheduled our first appointment for Monday, March 9th and was blissfully content and excited for the future. I was happy to be adding to our family after a long wait, happy to be pregnant again, happy to give Daniel a sibling, just so happy. 

Our dear friend Kristin bought Daniel this shirt, and this was how we announced on social media that we were pregnant. Weeks passed and everything seemed just fine. Except for something inside of me nagging me that it wasn't. But, I just decided to borrow trouble and move on. Exhaustion and 8pm bedtimes continued, ginger ale drinking, and expanding belly continued. 

7 weeks picture. 

Story continued.... 

With His Light Photography

I would like to invite you to add my business blog to your reading lists as I will be writing a lot about photography, editing, my workflow, etc. www.withhislight.com/blog :)

Mother to a 4 year old

I am absolutely in love with being a mother. And I am in absolute denial that I am mommy to a 4 year old. Dennis and I struggled to have Daniel, and we are struggling to have another baby. We would LOVE to be parents to more children, but we are just enjoying being parents to this child. Wishing my little boy a happy 4th birthday and being sure to photograph him even more than I did last year!!!!

2015 Resolutions

I just finished a post about my 2014 resolutions, and I am THRILLED that most of them were a success in my opinion. I am very thankful that I have been pointed and diligent in those areas. This year brings a new set of goals. I would like to list them.


1. Financial Health
This is a hard one. It truly is. I have struggled this year with making healthy, smart, responsible decisions with our money. My photography business is successful and it's tempting and easy to spend it. This year, God truly convicted my heart about how I treated money, and I was quick to come under his submission. Christmas was a hard season in regards to this, but I have already made some steps to be sure that 2015 will bring us a healthy financial situation. I am not saying that we will be rich, or buy a brand new BMW, I am saying, we will save before we spend, think ahead, stick to a budget, and be thoughtful and good stewards. This will be hard, but I am resolved.

2. Hospitality
I believe that this is already a strong point in my life, but, I would like to be sure that I am opening up my home on a regular basis and that anyone and everyone knows that they can come through our door whenever they want and stay as long as they need. I want to serve good bread, and awesome food, and enjoy getting to know people that I don't already know very well.

3. Craving God (not food!)
I read a book in 2014 called "Made To Crave" that CHANGED MY LIFE! I want to read this book at least two more times this year and apply what it says. I want to CRAVE my LORD more than I crave a starch, pasta, or sweet.

This year, I don't have as many smaller tasks and think that my 2015 goals are a little more gradual and hard to check off. :) I can use all of the encouragement and prayer possible.

2014 Resolution Results! MOST of them were kept!!!!

Last year, around this very time of the year, as it is for most people that make habits out of making resolutions, I made a few resolutions. And I really tried to think of some things that were important to me, and to succeed at doing them. To refresh, these were my resolutions for 2014:

To refresh memories, these were my resolutions:

1. To be more mindful about sending "Thank You" notes to my friends and family who have blessed us.
2. To blog more often. Last year, I only blogged 15 times in the year total. I can't even believe how sad I am about this! :(
3. To make healthier food choices (the typical resolution)
4. To print more pictures of us
5. To have family pictures taken
6. To stay more organized.

I would like to talk about how I have done on each resolution this year. 

1. To be more mindful about sending "Thank You" notes to friends and family. 
I have actually done really great at this, this year. I have certainly missed a few people, but for the most part, I have sent a lot. And it has been so awesome to write these things down each and every time we are blessed by a family member or friend. We could look back and see how people have loved us and served us this year. I will for certain keep this going! 

2. To blog more often. 
I have blogged more often. Double than in 2013. But still only 33 times. Agh! I can't say that I want to be sure that I double it again, but I do not want to let it go quite yet. 

3. To make healthier food choices. 
At the beginning of 2014, I weighed 191 pounds. And today, I weigh 172 pounds. This is due to healthier eating, and due to exercise. I am really happy about this weight loss, and I do have a long way yet to go. I went to the gym very faithfully especially through the Spring and Summer months, and have slacked off a good bit once it got colder. I am ready to go for it. By this time next year, I would like to be in the upper 150's as a realistic goal, but that is information for another post. 

4. To print more pictures of us. 
I have done two good printing orders this year, which is the most I have done, ever. I am pleased with this. 

5. To have family pictures taken. 
This is a fail. I hired TWO photographers, and both of them didn't work out. I am disappointed but we have made due. 

6. To stay more organized. 
This has been a success. I have really used my Emily Ley planner, used Elle & Company printable inside it, My Martha Stewart coupon and gift card binder, and have stayed organized. It has gotten out of control a time or three but I have been QUICK to quickly reclaim organization. I have also kept organization in my pantry, drawers, and the tot school room. I am really excited to keep going in 2015. 

As I grow as a woman, and mother, and wife, homemaker, daughter, and friend, I want to always be bettering myself to better represent the gospel, and I do believe that tackling some of these goals has helped me spiritually this year. Stay tuned for a separate post discussing my resolutions for 2015!

YouTube Channel Challenge

For a long time now, I have been contemplating doing daily short videos of our family. Late last month, our church family lost a dear member and friend, and it has really affected me in innumerable ways. One huge was is how I cherish and document our days together. You never know when you will want to go back and watch videos of your precious child and family. So, I have decided to do daily short clips. 

https://www.youtube.com/user/SMaggiful?app=desktop

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