Hey there! I still do exist, I am still alive, and I have not forgotten our tea times together.
And since I can drink tea again this month, we can do it really soon.
If you are lost with this post,
we are not expecting a baby this month. So I am free to "drink my hypothetical tea" with my friends on this blog! :)
Looks like we can have more tea times together this time around… maybe I can make the non-caffeinated switch to lemonade another time.
If you are officially lost, read the bottom of my previous post. . . you will get it.
Or… you can just read this:
We get to go through Clomid Round #2!!
Well,
I invite you to tea again. Of course, as always, it's hypothetical.. and we are not actually..drinking tea.. but I really enjoy it with you, and I hope that you do too.
In fact, this MAY be one of them weeks where we meet for tea a couple of times…
So let's get to tea-worthy conversation. reading.
IF you were in church with me today, you may have noticed I had a puffy, red, splotchy face from crying all morning. Some of you seem to have noticed just by looking at the back of me… and were already asking what was wrong before eye contact could even be made.. (thanks for asking!)… and I said that I was ok.. it was just a rough morning..
……. and it was……………
but should it have been?????
well, in a sane world of even flowed hormones, probably not.
…………but it was…………
so it matters…to me, and it has to matter to Dennis…… even if we wants to blame it on some crazy amount of hormones, or "that time" coming.
"that time" is a blessing, whether we want to believe it or not.
"that time" has to be medicine induced…we have to pay for it (how crazy!)
and "that time" may be upon us.. (sorry gentleman)
and if "that time" comes… that means we didn't conceive our first child "this time."
………………….and that is ok……………………………
but this morning I couldn't get dressed.. nothing was fitting, looking right, and I had a husband wanting to make it to church before it was over.. and he got a little, ahem, huffy.
and you know what?????
instead of an eye roll… or a brief explanation, or even hurrying up,
I CRIED LIKE A GIRL……
and I DID NOT STOP FOR 2 hours!!!
sigh.
Although I despised feeling like a distraction to my sisters in Christ, I was glad to have the hormones flowin like the Niagara Falls… and my tears were flowin just the same!
I was thankful for "that time" possibly approaching.
and you know what?
even though "that time" means we didn't conceive "this time"; it means that we get another month to try with some inkling of hope…. and maybe next month there will be no "that time."
So some time this week we will be looking for "that time" to come, and I am preparing my heart for it. And when it comes, we may need to have tea again if I need to talk.
and if "that time" does not show up…. I may need to have lemonade with you instead of tea….. tea has caffeine in it!!!! (giggle giggle snort snort)
:)
If you'd care to have a cup of tea with me, I'd like to share with you some random thoughts with you. Let's just say that even though I write and record my life on this blog for you all to read and participate in, I do this mainly for me. Over the year and a half that I have faithfully updated to this blog, I have been able to go back and see how God has worked in our life. It reminds me of a song that we sang a couple weeks ago at church:
"All my changes have come from him, he who NEVER changes…"
and through the recording of days and seasons of this blog, I can go back through and see how he has been so mighty.
I am hoping to record much more life on here… such as new additions to our family, maybe an expansion of our home, graduation day coming up in May, and of course more photoshoots! I love blogging, but I love living this life even more. Even those weeks when not a lot is happening (on the blog), God is still actively present and comforting, faithful and true, mighty and supreme, and still our protector and anchor.
He has saved us from much, blessed us with much, and I am so thankful for this avenue in which you get to share in it with me.
Let's do tea together soon…
_** Note, I took the picture off of the blog..I wanted you to see it. If you want me to forward you a photo, not that you care, i will… but I wanted to take it off because I did not have written permission…:) Just google it! ***
So.. I went to the doctor today. And for those of you wondering: "What the heck is a follicle anyway??" I found a picture for you. This is a picture of what is happening to me right now, times 2 and a half! :)
We got an encouraging report today that we have two of those follicular cysts, and one little one on the left. We will call that one our little: "runt."
This does not mean that these eggs have released, and it does not mean that they will. I will go back next week, January 29th to get some blood work done to see for sure.
IF they released, we wait for my next cycle, or a little baby….
If they did not release, then we go back to square one and up the dosage, which I talked about. :)
This is such an encouraging time for us. We are so excited and celebratory for each one of God's blessings in this process. We pray that we would remain faithful in celebrating his blessings, even if this does not result in a child for us.
Thanks for being apart of this process, and we love you for checking the blog!
Well, it is a hypothetical cup of tea. . . so I hope that you enjoy.
I go back to school tomorrow. This marks the very last semester I will spend in school, or well, college that is. This is when everything I have been learning will come to fruition, hopefully. I am really excited.
I will be teaching the third grade. I will miss my cutie first graders, but I trust that the Lord will create a love for these new children that I am about to meet. New beginnings are so exciting. I am looking forward to it.
Speaking of new beginnings, I went through my first round of fertility drugs and I will see if my body (my ovaries) responded to the medicine, and we will then know if we have released an egg to fertilize. I am hopeful that we did. If I did not respond to this doseage, we will up it to 100 mg per day. Oh, and if we did release an egg, we will know Thursday, and then that begins the two week wait to see if we have a little life within. Oh, patience is a virtue, yes?
I don't have any major side effects from the medicine, so that is good. (I did have a little, well, big, mood swing the other day, and I luckily have a pretty forgiving husband, and he got over it… )
So please remain in prayer for a responding body to medicine…
It was fun having a tea together, let's do it again soon.
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