This is what We do...

While he does this………

And I do that……………….

I realize that this is what we do right now. He comes home.. we eat, talk, we argue strongly, we love deeply.. and all the while, I stand with my arms crossed unsatisfied with the blessing of having a husband.. and not just A husband, but MY husband… essentially shaking my fist that my home is not FULL of screaming, dirty mouthed children.

The time is coming, but it is not here…. so while I am waiting I will worship,

and enjoy him doing this…

and me doing that…..

I have not just talked about me…

You know since Mr. Canon came into our lives mid-December I have not just talked.. I have been busy putting pictures out there.. and I know some of you have minds like 2nd graders, if there are NO pictures, then we tune out!

Still with me? ;) Haha.

I sat in class today and watched videos of teachers using word boards, and etc. I will not bore you with the details, but the problem was: I WAS BORED with the concept of teaching!

 

Yes, I know.. I am in the program to do this.. one year from now I will so stinkin close to graduation I will be able to smell it… but I am still very hesitant. I cannot tell if I am nervous because I don’t want to teach, or if I KNOW that there are going to be a MILLION new things between now and one year from now. I will be teaching lessons (that I have NEVER taught before), meeting new teachers, administration, and I know this might sound silly, but DRIVING to a new school for the first time will be more than my nerves or stomach can bare… I mean C’Mon the interview process must be killer. . . 

Can I do this? Will I make it? Am I MEANT to do this???? Today I was sunken with the reality that this college stuff comes to an end, and I will be a responsible ADULT with like, a, …… real grown up JOB! hello!!! IM SCARED!

Then I think of this sweet smile of his, and I want so badly to help us out financially, and be on the same sleep pattern as he is.. then…. at the same time I hope I get to be a mommy to his beautiful children one day…. (Will I want to teach?) Will I have enough energy/time to serve him fully? Don’t mean to give TOO MUCH INFORMATION… BUT….. I want to available for him in his times of “need.” Will I have enough left in me?

Guys.. this is a huge time for me.. and as every day passes the burden gets heavy.. MY LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE… and frankly…. I am pretty OK with the way things are… :)

Ok… I think I am done….

 

A trial Run

This is a trial run to see if Windows Live Writer is publishing properly.

Stay tuned.

Are we living a cross centered life?

I have avoided "New Years Resolutions" completely because I think that they are stupid when we have a new day every morning, and a new week every week, and a new month.... you get the picture. BUT.. I do think that there are goals in order of what we want a new year to bring.. let's hope that its not limited to weighing less, or becoming a "better" person like you really have something to offer.

See, I think that this is why we fail... WE set out to do these things on our own. If our church has goals for a new year, than there is no reason that I cannot have some similar goals. One of the great emphasis' this new year is that Holiness would begin in the home... and not when we get out of the car at church and hit Holy Pavement!!! Our church will be training and teaching the husbands in our congregation how to lead their wives to Calvary.... daily!!! And in our home, Dennis and I will be pursuing Holiness... and we are going to start with seeking the face of God daily together, and then using some of God's great servants like C.J. Mahaney. We are starting with this book! I will let you know what we are learning!!!

Here's to a year seeking God's face and becoming Holy, and not just "better"

My Idols or My God

I have let everything in my life get in the way between me and my relationship with God. I have allowed sin like selfishness and laziness get in the way of bible reading and prayer time. I have tried to keep going on old fumes that I had once built up in knowledge and previous emotion, AND today I have finally hit empty, and can longer move any longer in this condition. I am through with feeling unsaved, and not RELISHING in the undeserved grace that was granted to me for nothing that I did in the first place to earn it... and there is nothing that I can do that can pluck me from the Father's Hand. I have pulled away from my church that has served as a window to God's real and true character, and I have pulled away from the people that have invested their time praying for me and my husband the past two years, I have pulled out of every bible study, and have turned my back on my savior by allowing idols.. the computer, school work, sleep, and whatever else I could find to fill up my time. I have given Dennis the responsibility to fulfill my every need and happiness... and not God. Of course, Dennis has failed me in this because he is fallible, sinful man! I cannot find satisfaction and fulfillment in the things of this world. I see this now. I am ready to enjoy GOD and love him with 100% of my attention by asking forgiveness and repenting of this previous life in the past. I can no longer live like I have not been bought with the blood of Jesus Christ!
I

Canon can make Groceries Beautiful!

Today I had a busy day.. I went to the grocery store and stocked up all the things that we have been needing. I took some photos of them when I unloaded them at home! But the POINT of tonight's post is because I have taught myself to knit by watching YouTube videos over and over. I am still getting the hang of it.

 

 

This is the yarn. I think I bought TOO big of needles. As a gift to my Nanny, I bought her knitting needles. She taught me how to crochet, and I plan to teach her to knit... as soon as I learn how anyway!

I promise that the random pictures just playing with the camera will end soon enough.... it is a lot of work to post pictures of Vegetable oil! :) Just bear with me, I am still fascinated by new toy!

Good things are happening......

I have been thinking about Dennis and I lately... and how different we were when we first met! I mean when we met I was 15! Yes, 15..... and he was THERE for my 16th birthday party at the bowling alley! He was 23... and he was nice, charming, cute, adorable, and I had THE biggest dilemma.. I was barely 16, and he was too old, and he would NEVER be mine! It is the familiar frustration that some of you girls may have had when you were a dorky 6th grader, and your crush was in high school.. kind of thing! ....

Saturday as I was sitting on my front porch sitting beside my aunt Kelly, Dennis was mowing the grass. He was just sittin on that thing, carefully mowing OUR lawn.. and I thought: "That guy was not that guy that I met!" and he isn't! I started to giggle, and that giggle turned into a laugh... and he saw me laughing, and he laughed because I was laughing.. and he had no clue....

Think about this: I had my learner's permit, I was a sophomore in high school, I had never had a job, I hadn't even recieved my class ring when we started dating.... Dennis has watched me grow up! I have also watched him grow up. Before you get all googly on me, first let me say that our 6 total years together have not been ALL cuddly and cute, it has been HARD, it has seemed inpossible, and at a few hundred points in our dating and even married life, I didn't think that we would make it.... but we have.... and we will providing the Lord's provision and direction in our life and marriage.

That man that I was afraid to hold hands with in the car (in the early days) is the same man that mowes our grass, kisses me before he goes to work every morning, while I sleep, is the same man that brings me lemonades from sonic after bible study, that steals half my chocolate bar and grins when I figure it out finally, that farts in bed when I almost asleep.... he is the same man that I love with a more mature appreciation for, is the same man that drives me crazy when he walks through the house and shows me his dirty socks so hint that the floor desperately needs mopped.... He is Dennis, and he is 30, not 23, that is my husband and more than my nightly daydream.... I am happy where we are.... and I hope this growing up or old, or out thing gets all the more sweeter......

He is the same man that leaves me pink heart post it notes on the car that I now know how to drive!..... how sweet.. I love you Dennis!

The Woman of the 50's is....

About 78 years old! I was pondering this today as I was thinking about my blog entry. The woman of 1955, that was say 25 at the time, is about 78 years old. That is a far off generation. I mean the 60's, the 70's, the 80's, and the 90's has happened... plus 8 more years! No wonder we are in the shape we are! I recommend watching "Mona Lisa Smile" with Julia Roberts, Julia Stiles, Kirsten Dunst, Maggie Gylenhal, and another great actress I cant remember the name of. It creates a life of the 50's generation, yet with the knowledge of a modern woman! I love the combination!
There is a scene where Kirsten Dunst gets a washing machine, and she LOVES it!!!! Ladies, I want to get excited over the washing machine again like I was when we were on our way home from our honeymoon and I was going to do the things wives do.... I want that excitement back!

Where is the Woman of the 50's?

I am in school to be a teacher... there are millions and millions of women going to huge corporations every day and running a business all on her own with many many responsibilites. She is driving to work in a nice SUV, she has her hair perfect, she has nice expensive clothes, her nails are carefully manicured, and her make up has no flaw. She seems happy waiting at the light to turn green.

And in YOUR head you imagine her thoughts would go something like this: "Pick up dry cleaning, get Jr. from Soccer right after school, and little princess has ballet after soccer, and hubby needs hot love tonight, and the houskeeper needs paid. Oh, I must go cash that large check today for our Hampton vacation."

But in reality, her home life stinks, she hasnt went to the grocery store in months, they eat out in chaos nightly, the husband is unhappy, the kids are not attended to, the homework is never checked, the kids are never tucked in, they go off to bed wishing they lived next door with the mom that always has real cookies in her home. The dad is always on the phone, the mom is never emotionally available for anyone, including her husband. And yet.. in her SUV things look pretty good. We all know that #1 she is missing Christ. . .

But I want to know what has happened to the values taught to our children at home and at school? Why are mothers not taking the role of wife and homemaker? How did our lives get so busy that we dont have time to sit down for a meal we actually cooked ourself? I'm sick of this! I want to go back to the 1950's!