Sunday, February 7, 2010

"That Time or This Time?"

 

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Well,

I invite you to tea again. Of course, as always, it's hypothetical.. and we are not actually..drinking tea.. but I really enjoy it with you, and I hope that you do too.

In fact, this MAY be one of them weeks where we meet for tea a couple of times…

So let's get to tea-worthy conversation. reading.

IF you were in church with me today, you may have noticed I had a puffy, red, splotchy face from crying all morning. Some of you seem to have noticed just by looking at the back of me… and were already asking what was wrong before eye contact could even be made.. (thanks for asking!)… and I said that I was ok.. it was just a rough morning..

……. and it was……………

but should it have been?????

well, in a sane world of even flowed hormones, probably not.

…………but it was…………

so it matters…to me, and it has to matter to Dennis…… even if we wants to blame it on some crazy amount of hormones, or "that time" coming.

"that time" is a blessing, whether we want to believe it or not.

"that time" has to be medicine induced…we have to pay for it (how crazy!)

and "that time" may be upon us.. (sorry gentleman)

and if "that time" comes… that means we didn't conceive our first child "this time."

………………….and that is ok……………………………

but this morning I couldn't get dressed.. nothing was fitting, looking right, and I had a husband wanting to make it to church before it was over.. and he got a little, ahem, huffy.

and you know what?????

instead of an eye roll… or a brief explanation, or even hurrying up,

I CRIED LIKE A GIRL……

and I DID NOT STOP FOR 2 hours!!!

sigh.

Although I despised feeling like a distraction to my sisters in Christ, I was glad to have the hormones flowin like the Niagara Falls… and my tears were flowin just the same!

I was thankful for "that time" possibly approaching.

and you know what?

even though "that time" means we didn't conceive "this time"; it means that we get another month to try with some inkling of hope…. and maybe next month there will be no "that time."

So some time this week we will be looking for "that time" to come, and I am preparing my heart for it. And when it comes, we may need to have tea again if I need to talk.

and if "that time" does not show up…. I may need to have lemonade with you instead of tea….. tea has caffeine in it!!!! (giggle giggle snort snort)

:)

1 comment:

Lilly's Mom (Desiree) said...

Praying that you will have to drink lemonade for the next nine months!
You've really been on my heart, and in my prayers.
At this point and time in my life, I am welcoming "that time" because before my pregnancy with Lilly, "that time" was only medicine induced...and now it's here on its own!

Love & Hugs..and prayers too,
Desiree

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