a good long post about us……

I am going to write a long post. And there won't be any pictures. So if you have a short attention span, or you don't have time, or you might not be interested, then maybe you should come back another time. And I warn you, I might do a little rambling. Try to follow me.

First off, there are things happening here.

Lots of things are happening.

Lots of things I won't talk about, and some I will.

Marriage.

Marriage is tough. It is such a complex thing. A odd union that God created, and I see it unfold often why he chose the man he chose for me. Sometimes I am thrilled, and sometimes, jus bein honest, I wonder why… Dennis…….. and why me, for Dennis. But then he goes on a marathon.

He left on Friday. for Florida to run a marathon. I hugged him on Friday morning and looked forward to some home alone time. I got it. I got it until Monday at 2:55 p.m. So then I go to bed, and then I wonder: "Are the doors locked? Are the windows locked? "Wonder if Harper will be mean if someone comes in.." "Nah!" I decide. These thoughts don't come through my mind unless Dennis is gone. I love that I trust him with my life. That snuggling into him and going to sleep calms my worried soul at the end of the day. But I don't tell him this. . . don't be silly. ;)

Anyway, but other than these sweet moments. We are a real live married couple. It was not until my 24th birthday that I felt like an adult. And now that I am an adult, I feel that married is more…………real…………. more important……… more than just two kids who are living together……with gold bands……….which I see a lot in my brother and his new bride. The measure of my growth comes from them I think.

An Adult, Now.

So I guess in a nut shell, this weekend, I felt like a woman. for the first time, ever.

because I did things, women do.

like:

I did a project. (I can't tell… he might read before coming home)

I loaded up wood all day for 4 days. Which real women do by the way, lol.

I shut down our house every night. (Dennis' job)

I made decisions without calling Dennis.

I didn't act like a kid.

I didn't let the house get bad, I didn't let it smell.

I didn't just pile things up and then clean it later.

I took care of things.

If he died, I could live. I wouldn't like it, but I could do it.

So congratulate me, I'm not a kid anymore.

Fertility.

some have some great luck having children.

Some women smell their husband, BAM, baby.

Some women, refuse, and still, BAM, baby.

Some women have husbands that are clipped, and BAM, baby.

Some women plan to have a baby, and BAM, baby.

and then……there are some…..women….. (ahem, that is me now.)…………. that try…….and try……….and try…………. and wish……….pray………..hope……………wait………. and NO BABY.

and that is me, now, too.

we have waited.

I went from the hopeful, oh my goodness we can actually have a baby, phase….

to…..

Hey, we are not having any luck, phase…….

to……..

this is painful, everyone we know is starting families phase……….

to……..

Oh, no something must be wrong phase…….

to………..

that's ok, we will just wait, and I will go back to school phase..

to………

ok, I am almost out of school and still no baby, so maybe we better……

get on fertility drugs……phase………

so……

that is what we are doing.

Yes.

I am starting some fertility treatments. And we hope they work. and we want your prayers for this process.

Details?

I won't bore you.

I will just say they are mild, inexpensive, and they usually work with people with my disease.

School.

in four months…

i will be finished with school

I will be a certified teacher (k-6)

I will DEFINETELY be an adult then…

I will have a bachelors degree….

and hopefully, I will walk across that stage… pregnant.

Home.

We live in a small house.

small.

we love our small house, but we don't always love the neighborhood.

the neighborhood is not bad…. but it's not a real neighborhood………. its more like we live off of a very busy street… we know two neighbors.

so, its ok

but God has given it to us, and we think this gift is sufficient and plenty for our family… and we know that we want me to be home, raising our children, (if there are any)…….

so we have a small house, but it might get bigger.

We will see.

We might add on.

We might not.

We want to.

so…………………………………………………………………….

I think I have it all covered.

And I hope that Dennis does not mind that I just aired all our BIZ-ness.

Thanks for listening.